My Dearest Kitty.....(Part Nine)

Dear Cat,

· When I clean out the fish tank and put them in the bathtub to clean off your paw prints… it is not a buffet of fish, please see kibble in dish on floor!

· Thanks again for not making random stains lately on the carpet… I guess the food change was a success!

· We need to discuss personal space again… it is MY BED! Please see 2^nd bedroom, couch, loveseat, floor random chair or bathroom sink. Thanks.

· I hate to bring this up again… but if there is a shiny spot at the center of the food dish? This is not a life crisis or the end of the world is near. (you will live) It takes me over 12 hours to eat one breakfast sandwich and yet you can snarf down 2lbs. of kibble in a day?

· Oh and thanks for leaving paw prints on the toilet seat… I know where those paws have been!

· I bought 50lbs of cat litter today. (was on sale 99 cents for a 10lb bag) I think you are good for at least 6 weeks and no longer need to wash your paws.

· One last thing… what is up with falling asleep in the middle of the hallway? Biting me because I step on your tail is getting old and I can bite back. However, I already have dental floss and cat hair just is not the same.

My Dearest Kitty ... (Part Five)

Dear Cat:


I will preface with the following… please realize you only exist in my world for my personal entertainment! (I write about and the happy purrs at night… because I know you cannot open the canned cat food without my assistance) So please note the following:

·     For Safety Reasons fellow cat owners: Pulling a cats tail making the sound of Ringdingydingydingy like a pull start lawn mower has a 90% percent chance of looking for a band-aid. Be sure you run to CVS and get some Scooby-Doo Band-Aids before attempting.

·     Also… I did not realize your palate was the level of a Master Chef. Half and Half does taste the same as non-dairy creamer in those little plastic cups. So stop giving me ‘the paw’ in protest.

·    Oh and just because you see chicken or pork on the TV screen from the Food Network Channel… please stop editing my shopping list! It is recorded TV and the paw prints on the TV screen are getting old.

·    Ummm… I give you refrigerated tap water in your bowls daily. I am still curious of why I have to wait in line to use my own bathroom as you drink out of the toilet bowl. You lick your own butt and cannot drink out of your own toilet in your own bathroom?

·    Again… STOP GIVING ME ATTITUDE if I accidentally step on you in the dark because you decided to sleep in the middle of the floor. Generally your naps are on the bed, couch or your own double bed ‘IN THE OTHER ROOM’. I do not need 24x7 meow contact/updates.

·    Tonight I will reward you with snackems and canned food since you made it finally to the kitchen tile for your ‘present’… 2 squirts of Windex and a paper towel.

·    OK… I know my tennis shoes might stink! However, stop sticking your head inside and then looking at me with that funny face. You already knew what you getting into from the start.

So Cat… it is going to get cold soon! I hope the cat burglar does not steal your blankeys… hehe

·    You seem to groom your hair more often than I do myself. Do you really need to lick 24x7 (during your waking hours)…? I shower and apply product to my hair and I am good to go for at least a day! You have not moved in 23 hours… you did not get dirty.

·    Note to self: Do not pull cats tail as the emergency evacuation plan is needed due to green fog. They can bring tears to your eyes.

·    Oh… my Chicken in a Biscuit Crackers is HUMAN FOOD! Just because it smells like chicken and has a faint chicken taste, they are mine.

·    Umm… I did not create ‘thunder’ so your need to make me find a Scooby-Doo Band-Aid? No snackem’s tonight!!!

·    Also… I appreciate the 3AM present you personally made for me. However, you were in range of the tile floor vs. the carpet by only 2 feet. Please try harder to ‘gift’ your furballs on tile… Windex is cheaper!

·    OKAY this is your final warning… the Blackberry is MINE! Please stop sleeping on it, stealing it or shoving it under the bed. I’m just saying!

Until next time,

Christopher

My Dearest Kitty ... (Part Four)

Dear Cat the litter box timeshare holder,

• Clorox is not an ‘air freshener’ as it is more of a cleaning ingredient. I know you love the smell… but back off when I pour it in the ‘water dish/toilet’! Unless you want your fur all white. I am CLEANING!

• Please explain to me… How is it you can lay next to me while I am sitting upright watching television but, if I lay down next to you… POOF kitty disappears. I am starting to take this personal!

• Also… I do not need to see your ‘stink star’ on a daily/hourly basis. Please reserve that visual for litter box. I know you are proud of that thing under your tail but, I am just not really interested. –Thanks.

• Why is it sleeping on top of my DVR is your favorite napping spot? Yet I try and cover you with a blanket you get all cranky.

• Again… I am allowed to pet you, hold you and pinch your toes while you sleep. Tugging on your tail is only for special occasions when you have been well behaved. (all cats love their tail pulled slightly)
• Kittens… please stop opening the wine cabinet. Yes I put a stuffed cat on the other side of the glass doors to torment you… but please stop trying to let him out!

• Monkey (the youngest brat/cat)… I would appreciate if you would refrain from opening and slamming kitchen cabinet doors looking for food. Please see kibble dish! It is SO NOT FUNNY!

• Oh… and there is nothing hiding behind the sliding closet doors except for my clothes. It is not a napping spot!!!

Please NOTE: Changing your litter box is a 10 minute ordeal and I do not need supervision! Sitting in the spot where it was upon the temp removal to empty out your crap does not mean you are first in line among the other brats. I actually have to carry your crap down to the dumpster and then refill.

• Umm, we have met upon many occasions… you announcing your presence when jumping up next to me is not necessary. Remember I named you and my name is not meow.

• Oh… and the roll of white stuff next to the toilet is for my personal use! It is not a play toy for you to grab onto and hall down the hallway. It is $3.59 for a 4 pack!!!

• I know you get mad… but I find it funny to hide cat snackems in odd places that you cannot reach without a lot of effort. Consider it a form of exercise. Hehe

• Again… closing the shower door while you are in there and turning on the water? IS SO FUNNY! STOP HISSING AT ME!

• Speaking of hissing… you need a Tic-Tac!

That's all for now,
Christopher

My Dearest Kitty ... (Part One)

Dear Cat…

I know you have a sense of humor… otherwise you would have escaped and found a new pooper scooper, food and toilet to drink out of for your daily needs.  However, perhaps we need to go over a few things listed BELOW…?

I own you and I pay the rent so therefore the following is a ceast and desist order!

· You washing your paws in the toilet and touching my face to wake me up… not funny.

· Adding stains to the carpet… I have to ‘resolve’ haha

· When laying in bed… your tail touching me just to irritate me, just needs to stop! I know you are there because I hear you snoring.

· How is it that toys I have not seen in 4 years just suddenly appear… do you have a mystical toy bag?

· Oh… if you make a smell next to me? Do NOT look at me and try to place blame. We know who created the fog in the room, puddytat!

· When I come home from the store… I am not always shopping for you and your needs! I need to eat once in a while to provide for your furry butt. Just because you have a craving? I would appreciate it that you not gut the fresh bag of cat food next to your dish just because you cannot wait until morning.

· Please note: I have my toys and you have your toys. I do not share! So please stop stealing my stuffed animals for your entertainment purposes.

· Also… Dear Kitten, not everything I eat is ‘cat food’! I am getting really tired of sharing my dinner. This is NOT Big Cat Diaries on Cable where you get to eat fresh kills daily… please see the kibble dish!

Thanks,

Christopher

Submitted by Joanne B. 

Click here to read part 2

Annual Pool Party

Our annual pool party was this past Saturday, if you missed it then you missed a GREAT time! We had over $1,000 worth of gift card prizes to give away. We sold raffle tickets to raise money for Feeding America and collected can foods for them as well.

Every year Fogelman Management Group picks a charity for it's Fogelman Cares program. This year it is Feeding America so every Fogelman community will be doing their own fundraising to raise money for Feeding America. If you actually take the time to do some research you will see the statistics for the number of people that rely on food banks to feed their families each month. Feeding America cites 37 million Americans. That number blows my mind and makes me sad to think about all the food that goes to waste each day from restruants and such. It is my opinion that we should have a way to pool all of those leftovers together and feed these people but of course, that will never happen. Bottom line, I think it is an amazing charity and if you are able to help please visit their website to find out how... http://www.feedingamerica.org/

Now onto the reason I wrote the blog, I wanted to say a HUGE THANK YOU to each of our sponsors for donating gift cards and items for our party. I figured I would list each of them and give credit where credit is due:

Signature Landscaping
MC Flooring
Buildwiser
Furniture Options
Dezube Miller Law Firm
Imo's Pizza Overland Park
Blue Beetle Pest Control
HD Supply
Don Ernst Farmers Insurance
Design Source Flooring
National Credit Systems
Matt North Farmers Insurance
Time Warner Cable
Apartment Finder
Great Day Moving
AT&T
CES Carpet Extractions
Thirty One Gifts
Scentsy
Mi Ranchito

We would like to thank them again for their continued support! And if you didn't make it out to this years party you will want to make sure you attend next year. We get better each year!

Until next time,
Melody