Dear Cat…
I know you have a sense of humor… otherwise you would have escaped and found a new pooper scooper, food and toilet to drink out of for your daily needs. However, perhaps we need to go over a few things listed BELOW…?
I own you and I pay the rent so therefore the following is a ceast and desist order!
· You washing your paws in the toilet and touching my face to wake me up… not funny.
· Adding stains to the carpet… I have to ‘resolve’ haha
· When laying in bed… your tail touching me just to irritate me, just needs to stop! I know you are there because I hear you snoring.
· How is it that toys I have not seen in 4 years just suddenly appear… do you have a mystical toy bag?
· Oh… if you make a smell next to me? Do NOT look at me and try to place blame. We know who created the fog in the room, puddytat!
· When I come home from the store… I am not always shopping for you and your needs! I need to eat once in a while to provide for your furry butt. Just because you have a craving? I would appreciate it that you not gut the fresh bag of cat food next to your dish just because you cannot wait until morning.
· Please note: I have my toys and you have your toys. I do not share! So please stop stealing my stuffed animals for your entertainment purposes.
· Also… Dear Kitten, not everything I eat is ‘cat food’! I am getting really tired of sharing my dinner. This is NOT Big Cat Diaries on Cable where you get to eat fresh kills daily… please see the kibble dish!
Thanks,
Christopher
Submitted by Joanne B.
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