· The new stain right next to the other one? I appreciate your artwork… Monet did not paint that many water lilies. So STOP TRYING TO OUT DO him! He was an artist, you just have some weird gag issue.
· Thank you ‘baby cat’ for actually warning of the ‘new present’ in the kitchen so I did not step in the furball your sister gave me. You made me stop just in time before several 4 letter metaphors were announced at 5AM.
· Oh… if you sleep on the edge of the bed? It is not my fault you fell and bounced. I suggest the couch or your own dang bed? Just because you are upset… I am not your scratching post! Please see carpet!
· We have talked about this… but the Big Cat Diaries on Animal Planet are getting old! Shadow and Halftail are awesome hunters. However, I can only watch the girls hunt and kill a pig so many times. I know you love ham but… REALLY?
· Okay a friend of mine brought me 54 half n halfs for your morning breakfast… you are now cut back to only 2 a day! My eyes are watering from that smell you create then make a funny face! I know this is cat humor… but SO NOT FUNNY! I get it you like smelly stuff… ummm, I do not… thanks in advance. I wonder if Beano makes a cat version…
· When the phone rings… please hit the Green Button unless it is a bill collector. Otherwise hit the red button, thanks in advance.
· Oh and things I place in a trash bag to take out later…. Is still my property and I do not want you gutting the bag looking for food! You are 26lbs… ya not staving.
· Okay… why is your new favorite show Bridezillas?
· Umm, Nerds are not a cat snackem… it is a candy treat for humans!
· I love your affinity for toilet water… but I provide you with filtered water daily. Please leave my toilet alone!
· Thanks for the ‘present’… I cleaned up your projectile cat specialty. I request less presents… thanks in advance!
No comments:
Post a Comment