My Dearest Kitty ... (Part Two)

Dear Cat,

I know you think you are special and the supreme species on the planet but…

· You staring at one part of the ceiling and getting me to look at nothing… SO not funny!

· Oh… and by the way? Spiders are not your friends nor are they play toys! I BEAT the last one of your ‘toys’ to death with a Kleenex box last week… Sorry for your loss. :(

· Let’s recap on the ‘my property’ VS. ‘your property’. The laces on my shoes are mine and the stuffed mousey looking thing lying in the middle of the hallway? It is yours… (laces are not extra long mouse tails)

· Also… That hissing in the mirror at "the other cat"?  ... Self explanatory.

· It would be nice if you could refrain from pouncing the warm blankets you sleep on within 5 seconds after being washed/dried… ummm I am trying to fold them for your furry butt.

· My DVR remote does belong to me and it is not your personal chew toy... please chew on the thing right behind you… the favorite part of your body, known as your tail.

· I understand that my shower is totally fascinating as you spend half your waking moments in there meowing. However, I need to remind you that chasing your tail in there could be a tad dangerous. The random cat movements (RCM's) are getting a little weird... going from point A to point B does not need to be at TOP SPEED! -Thanks.

· Just because I walk near the kitchen... it is not dinner time. Please Note: The bowl is usually full and if you happen to see a small shiny spot at the bottom because you mowed the kibble down... but still have food in the bowl is not a critical emergency. I will refill it before your next hunger feast. Thanks.

· Also... lay off the NIP, I am running out of band-aids.

· Pawing my arm over and over in the morning to wake me up for a belly rub is still not funny. Also, you and your 26lbs standing on my chest and meowing in my face because I ignored the prior attempt of waking me up, still not funny.


Please Note: I was sleeping, hence your needs can wait until I decide to get out of bed... I am not room service and the menu is Dry Kibble and Water.

· Snackems are considered a treat for good behavior... not a diet supplement. I understand my apple slices bag in the fridge do sound like your snackems bag when opened... the stuff in the fridge is really… umm mine. I appreciate your personal interest... but unless it is 6" below your snout and in a bowl, it is considered... MINE!

That's it for now ..
Christopher

Click here to read part 3